Dec. 16, 2006 – Author Jay Dubya has rewritten the first two books of the Bible into hardcover versions The Wholly Book of Genesis and The Wholly Book of Exodus. The newly authored adult versions are not written for children, for the moral majority or for the politically correct. Wholly Genesis and Wholly Exodus are currently available at online retailers Amazon.com, Buy.com, Booksamillion.com, Barnes and Noble.com, Forbes Book Club.com and at Yahoo Shopping, MSN Shopping, Froogle and at My Simon buying portals. Besides the hardcover versions, the two books also exist in paperback and in Mobipocket, Adobe Reader and Microsoft Reader ebook downloading formats.
The Wholly Book of Genesis is adult humor featuring adult situations, language and content. The book satirizes the Story of Creation, The Great Flood, The Tower of Babel, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The author (a former English teacher) also finds fault with grammatical problems in Genesis such as poor pronoun-antecedent constructions, redundancy and weak organization of content.
A young Arab terrorist named Mohammed Kareem Jihad discovers in a mountain limestone cave ancient papyrus renditions of the books of Genesis and Exodus. He rushes into Jericho and sells his discoveries to two archeological researchers, Professor Philip Collins and Dr. Allen Qaeda, who buy the precious ancient scrolls from young Mohammed for a carton of cigarettes, two hand grenades and a used AK-47.
Professor Phil Collins was an authority on the Book of Genesis, and Dr. Al Qaeda was a scholar on the Book of Exodus. They translated the versions (which preceded the Dead Sea Scrolls by many centuries) and found that ancient priests and scribes had edited-out half of the Book of Genesis and half of Exodus to make the texts more moral and virtuous.
After translating the new renditions Professor Philip Collins e-mails copies of the translated texts to his nephew, the author. A day later a Palestinian rocket hits the Jerusalem home where the men were doing their valuable research. Both Professor Phil Collins and Dr. Al Qaeda were killed, and the original documents were also destroyed in the misguided missile attack.
The only remaining versions were the electronic e-mails that are now files in the author’s computer. Jay Dubya now presents the unabridged translation of the Wholly Book of Genesis.
The Wholly Book of Exodus is humorous adult literature that features adult situations, language and content. The book satirizes the Israelite’ captivity in Egypt, the birth of Moses, the power struggles between Pharaoh and Moses, the Great Exodus from Egypt to Canaan and the parting of the Red Sea. Manna from Heaven, Moses receiving the Ten Commandments on Mt. Sinai and the construction of the Ark of the Covenant are also satirized. The author, a former English teacher, humorously analyzes the many grammatical problems evident throughout Exodus such as poor pronoun-antecedent constructions, mindless redundancies and weak organization and expression of Biblical content. Mohammed Kareem Jihad, a young Arab terrorist discovers ancient papyrus’ renditions of Genesis and Exodus in a limestone cave. Mohammed takes the new scrolls, rushes into Jericho and in a café shows his discoveries to two archeological researchers, Professor Philip Collins, an expert on Genesis, and Dr. Allen Qaeda, an authority on the Book of Exodus. The archeologists barter a carton of cigarettes, two hand grenades and a used AK-47 for the priceless documents. Phil Collins and Al Qaeda translate the new versions of Genesis and Exodus into the Wholly Book of Genesis and into the Wholly Book of Exodus. They discover that over half of the original texts had been edited out by ancient Hebrew’ priests and scholars whose intent was to make the first two books of the Bible more moral and religious. Professor Phil Collins e-mails electronic copies of the new Genesis and Exodus to his nephew author Jay Dubya. Several weeks later an errant Palestinian rocket hits the Jerusalem’ home where Phil Collins and Al Qaeda had conducted their meticulous translations. Both archeologists are killed in the misguided missile’s explosion, and the original papyrus scrolls and the computer files were also destroyed in the terrorist attack. The only remaining versions of the Wholly Book of Genesis and the Wholly Book of Exodus are the e-mail attachments in Jay Dubya’s computer “Document Files.” Jay Dubya now presents to the world the unabridged translations of The Wholly Book of Genesis and The Wholly Book of Exodus.
— End —